Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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