why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
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Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
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You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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