why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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