She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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