Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Green mimosas i think yes
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize