ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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