i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize