I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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