My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
