He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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