The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
