I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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