We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
