Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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