I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So many bounce houses so little time
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
