I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
