it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
