I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
