She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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