Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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