You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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