I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
