It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
