Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
