Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
