is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
barbara walters just said penis...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
