you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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