why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
