he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
vagina is talking i cant
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
so much tequila, so little girl.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
