he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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