she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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