We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
