So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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