at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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