dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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