we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
