That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
