how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
