Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
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If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
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She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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