His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
