im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize