I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize