Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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