I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
