She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she looked like the before picture.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
