Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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