What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
