In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
