last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
