I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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