just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize