I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
