Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
