wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize