I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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