Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
