its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
