Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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