I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
