when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
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For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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